BBQ Sauce, hold the HFCS

Yesterday, Natasha and I were at the grocery store.  I was in a downbeat mood following a long week of school and an incident where I had my arms full with three boxes of cereal and our shopping cart had gone missing.  Also, the guy stocking meats told me that they had never sold pre-formed breakfast sausages, even after I explained that I've bought them at this store not too long ago.  Missing shopping carts and non-existing meats can be explained by cart-thieves and uninformed meat stockers, or by stress-induced dementia.  Since I prefer the simple explanation to the complex, I found myself in the BBQ aisle in a bad mood.

I am not a "health nut".  But I'm also not willing to regularly eat stuff that isn't trustworthy.  I don't drink soda (even though I used to like it).  I try to avoid hydrogenated oils.  And I try to avoid High Fructose Corn Syrup (HFCS).

I don't like HFCS for two reasons: (1) I've read that it is hard on your liver and body, and (2) political/free-market/economic reasons.  I avoid corn syrup in general and I avoid HFCS in particular.

But, the ingredient is so well-loved by the American food market that I still find it in many of my foods.  It is so well loved by the BBQ sauce industry that I could not find a single brand which did not list some corn syrup as a top ingredient.

That's right, every single BBQ sauce in the entire store had form of corn syrup in their primary ingredients.  Not even one bottle was sweetened only by simple ingredients like sugar and molasses.  Someone out there understands a niche market, why don't they make regular BBQ sauce?

Then it gets worse.  The niche market for un-corned sauce is filled, in part, by corn syrup.  At least one sauce lists "ketchup" as a primary ingredient, and the ketchup is made with HFCS.  They've found a clever way to pass the quick-scanning ingredient test.  Instead of solving the problem by making a clean sauce, they've approached the problem by trying to fool the customer.

I was so disgusted that I didn't buy anything.

Waste Paper

Yesterday we received our "brief" materials, a thick pile of documents filled with evidence, requirements, and sample writings.

Each time I get something like this I ask myself whether the value of printing so much paper is worth the cost of the materials used.  Sometimes it is, sometimes it isn't.  During the previous semester, a professor assigned an essay and then printed a packet of anonymous answers for the whole class.  That was colossal waste of paper – I'd already done my research for the answer so I wasn't looking to learn from my classmates, and the class was probably my largest and therefore had the most entries into this useless tome.  Plus, optional reading is not high on my foodchain - I have enough to digest.

As I was leaving class I noticed an abandoned packet on a classmate's desk.  I figured it was accidentally left behind.  I was, in all honesty, unhappy at the sight of so much paper waiting to be thrown out by the next person to use the classroom.  I figured that the owner would eventually want another copy and would print out another packet, wasting a tree in the process.  I knew that I would find the owner in the cafeteria and I was heading there myself, so I decided to deliver the paper and save a tree.

So I personally delivered the papers.  What I wasn't expecting was the reaction I received.  She spoke in a convincing tone, "oh, that was an extra packet.  You are SO SWEET!"  Ummm, no I'm not.  I'm mildly angry at the waste of paper and I happened to be going to the cafeteria, so I brought the packet along.  My goal wasn't to please anyone.  I might have expected a "thank you."  I was surprised at the reaction and I think I just said "OK" and walked off.

What is the moral?  I guess I can't take a compliment.  Reduce, Reuse, Recycle.  The power is yours.

Yeards, Celery, and Tairy

Way back in December I mentioned that I love to hate Terry Goodkind.  He is a terrible author, his books don't make sense, and each book opens to a wonderfully odd bearded and ponytailed stare:

I'm not going to discuss why his books are bad, but instead talk about my relationship with the books.  I won't spoil the books either.

I picked up the idea to read his books from my college roommate, who had hardback editions of the first five book from his series "The Sword of Truth."  I'm certain that I asked if the books were good, and I'm pretty sure I was told that they were somewhere between OK and good.  That was enough of a recommendation for me, because at that point in my life I had an enormous appetite for summer reading and I'd tear through series quickly and occasionally with multiple re-reads of last summer's best.

By the third installment, I was pretty unhappy with the series, but I persevered.  I should have trusted my gut, but hindsight is 20-20.  I continued on until school started.  At that point, the younger brother of a good friend told me that he loved the series.  Maybe peer pressure was working on me, maybe I lacked the good common sense needed to split from the series.  Nevertheless, I carried on.

I had already come too far, and I committed myself to the b00ks simply because I'd read the first 9 and only 3 more remained.  Each year I would find myself in the bookstore only to be stared down by a pony-tailed and bearded fellow who compelled me to buy the latest installment, promising that the end was in sight and preying on my need for completion.  I couldn't stop myself.  Finally, I found relief in the final words of the final book.  Although I said I wouldn't spoil the books, let me tell you that the ending is the best part, and not because of the ending written in the book.

Considering that you are at my page and reading this now, you are be aware that the internet allows people who share interests come together and discuss their narrow interests with other like-minded individuals.  There are "rules" to the effect that you can find the most esoteric content somewhere on the web.  Today, I've found the group of people who seriously hate Terry Goodkind and their hilarious discussions of the author.

They describe his ponytail/beard as a "yeard," they discuss Tairy's celery enemas which the author uses to steel himself against the Lemmings of Discord, and they discuss his interviews which shed light on his twisted worldview.  If you've suffered from Tairy's books, search for these Lemmings and have a good laugh.