Yeards, Celery, and Tairy

Way back in December I mentioned that I love to hate Terry Goodkind.  He is a terrible author, his books don't make sense, and each book opens to a wonderfully odd bearded and ponytailed stare:

I'm not going to discuss why his books are bad, but instead talk about my relationship with the books.  I won't spoil the books either.

I picked up the idea to read his books from my college roommate, who had hardback editions of the first five book from his series "The Sword of Truth."  I'm certain that I asked if the books were good, and I'm pretty sure I was told that they were somewhere between OK and good.  That was enough of a recommendation for me, because at that point in my life I had an enormous appetite for summer reading and I'd tear through series quickly and occasionally with multiple re-reads of last summer's best.

By the third installment, I was pretty unhappy with the series, but I persevered.  I should have trusted my gut, but hindsight is 20-20.  I continued on until school started.  At that point, the younger brother of a good friend told me that he loved the series.  Maybe peer pressure was working on me, maybe I lacked the good common sense needed to split from the series.  Nevertheless, I carried on.

I had already come too far, and I committed myself to the b00ks simply because I'd read the first 9 and only 3 more remained.  Each year I would find myself in the bookstore only to be stared down by a pony-tailed and bearded fellow who compelled me to buy the latest installment, promising that the end was in sight and preying on my need for completion.  I couldn't stop myself.  Finally, I found relief in the final words of the final book.  Although I said I wouldn't spoil the books, let me tell you that the ending is the best part, and not because of the ending written in the book.

Considering that you are at my page and reading this now, you are be aware that the internet allows people who share interests come together and discuss their narrow interests with other like-minded individuals.  There are "rules" to the effect that you can find the most esoteric content somewhere on the web.  Today, I've found the group of people who seriously hate Terry Goodkind and their hilarious discussions of the author.

They describe his ponytail/beard as a "yeard," they discuss Tairy's celery enemas which the author uses to steel himself against the Lemmings of Discord, and they discuss his interviews which shed light on his twisted worldview.  If you've suffered from Tairy's books, search for these Lemmings and have a good laugh.